walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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