that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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