Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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