i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize