How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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