i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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