i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently the secret to your success is patron
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Your penis caused this!
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