awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there's paper in my vomit.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize