Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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