New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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