in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize