did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
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still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
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Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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