i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize