oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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