if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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