I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize