It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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