Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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