I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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