now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
high people should be assigned attendants
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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