I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize