i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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