I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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