just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
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you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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