I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
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I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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