so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize