Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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