also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
is it fun? or sober?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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