NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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