and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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