With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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