I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My penis needs a shock collar
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize