My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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