so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize