dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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