is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize