Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
so much tequila, so little girl.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize