so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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