Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
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