it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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