Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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