So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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