Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize