i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize