I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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