I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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