Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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