Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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