I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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