i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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